The weekend before last I had the opportunity again the attend the Radio Network Sepcial Children's Christmas party - http://www.sccpnz.co.nz/index.html

It has a number of sponsors and provides a Christmas celebration with for kids with termial illneses and special needs. The frist year Julie took Elijah and the second year I took Elijah and we kept company with Tobias and his Dad. Tobias is another 5 year old with Angelman Syndrome. We had a great time with face painting lots of fruit and entertainment, and a trip through the toy cave to meet Santa. We also received some fabulous gifts - that were great for Elijah. After Elijah died last year I decided I wanted to give something back and so went an voluteered time and spent a number of hours facepainting.

This year I was able to get some tickets for some local families and went again to volunteer help. I was able to meet a few families that I know - Tobias and his Dad and Daniel and his Mum. I spent time in the toy cave helping take children through to get their gifts and see Santa. And I decided that this year there would be a was of taking Elijah with me and also putting out the Angelman Syndrome Message and so as you can see from this photo I went and had Elijah's photo name and www.angelmansyndrome.org.nz put on a T shirt

I got to meet some great people and some fabulous kids as well - ilost count of the number of children I took through the toy cave. I met a little boy Isaac who was born with only half a heart and was able to share with his mum as well walked through the cave.

there were a numbe of children who pointed to the pictureof elijah onmy Tee shirt and smiled and wante to know who he was.

I was also able to share Elijah's story with quite a few people.

I really felt like Elijah had been at the christmas party with me.





This is Elijah's friend Tobias all glowing





here is a pic of them both from two years ago.

I feels like ages since I wrote and in fact is has been six weeks. I had the intention to post several time before now,but jus haven't quite managed to do so.

The firs things i would like to share with you is a video clips Elijah tha wa used at the family vigil we held the night before Elijah's funeral. I was put together by my best mate. It is one of three clips that were shown and i have been working on trying to extract the other two from a DVD. I have posted it on the Youtube site.





It's been quite an emotional journey these last couple of months. In September I got to the point where my brain wasn't functioning well and I noticed this most at work and I had not been sleeping so well either - was just not myself. . I went to the Doctor and ended up taking two weeks off work. I also went to see a counsellor for 3 sessions. In all I was off work for two weeks - which was great and did me a world of good. At the counsellor we recognised several things that had contributed to how I ws feeling. One of these was accumulated stress from the time prior to Elijah's death that was still draining from system, the sheer physical impact that reults from greiving Elijah's passing, the recent anniversary in August, the strained and sitant relationship I have with my Dad and the pressure of work as well. I spent good portions of the counselling talking about Elijah and crying. Funny how going and finding that the defences were down and i just opened up and she listened and shared reflections back to me as well. It was helpful to see that I was still in the midst of the pain of the grief and loss of Elijah. I lerned that in darkensss there is rest as well as turmoil; and pain. I have been blessed to have been touched by a number of angels recently there are some little boys out there that smile at me like Elijah smiled and one last weekend that hugged me like Elijah did. I was comforted by Tobias and his hug and wiggliness and desire to pull off my glasses, ministered to my soul on my journey.

I found myself drawn to Elijah's toys on after lunch and before going to a church meeting. Just sitting hold one of his shoes, and then gently playing with some of his favorite toys. I sat in the conservatory with the sun streaming through and Francesca whispered to me "I wish Elijah was still here ! I wish he was too I replied and we both played for some time. Here are some of Elijah's favorite toys. Pictures still to be uploaded - and this post continued

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Peace
Darren