Today has been a tough day, tonight I cried alot. I rang the tax department today to let them know that Elijah had died. It was the last of the organisations that I had to contact and I had been putting it of as this was the last people I had to contact officially.
I just felt a need tonight to see Elijah and so went through a bunch of video tapes with him on them even the ones with seizure activity. Just to see my son and so wanted just to reach into the video and hug him because I misss him so much. The tears welled up and I really felt like someone had reached down inside me and ripped my guts out such was the pain.
Last weekend was a special childrens Christmas party - for kids with disabilities and terminal illness etc, Elijah had been the last two years. I went with him last year. I met up with another dad whose son has Angelman Syndrome and so Markus and I and Elijah and Tobias all had a great time together. This year I went remembering Elijah to give time to help and ended up facepainting. Something I have never done before. I saw Markus and Tobias and felt a little naked without Elijah, but painted with the help of his markus a big red heart on Tobias' cheek, I did christmas trees and rainbows and snakes and swords, and bumble bees etc etc. I came away a little sad, but felt good about about taking a few hours to paint faces to put a smile of kids faces, something Elijah always did so well, without trying. The following are picture from Last years Special Children's Christmas party
Elijah and some of the entertainers
Elijah's Only Facepainting Elijah with a gift he received
Elijah and his Angelman Mate Tobias sharing bananas
They have fruit and food, facepainting, entertainment, fire engine, police, bouncy castles etc and also the Santa Cave with fabulous gifts of all the children, provided by sponsors. It's a great event, I will be booking it in my diary for 2008.
Till next time - peace be to you and yours