Monday, March 24, 2008

Hiya all

Peace be with you and yours, lots of things have happened in the last month since I posted and I have been quite emotionally drained by some other issues going on for the last month these have distracted me somewhat

Some good news is that Matthew who I have mentioned in a previous post from Sydney has Angelman syndrome and in total spend 9 weeks in ICU, is progressing slowly but well. He is more settled and the seizures have as well. He was in a ward as of last Thursday and still has some way to go. It has been a privilege to share this journey - I am able to in contact with his mum every few days. This news has blessed me as I have been praying fervently for good reports.

This is one of several photos taken of Elijah in January 2007. This was taken at a restaurant called the Curator's House in Christchurch. Julie's sister and Aunt and Dad were visiting and we had a room to ourselves. Elijah had eaten and so since we had the room to ourselves we could let him down to roam. As you can see he is curious and has pulled himself up to look out the window. He has headed for the light. It was the attraction of seeing what was out the window and this picture show the light shining though and you can see him stepping up to see. To me this picture speaks alot about Elijah and I see him stepping up to embrace the light, and eargerness about him, to embrace eternity, to embrace his Lord and his Saviour Jesus Christ.

I have really felt the pain of Elijah not being with us today. We went out to ten pin bowling and then shopping and then went to the cemetery and we arrived there a little after 5pm. I spent some time sitting on the ground were he is buried pulling out weeds from among the sparsely growing grass. It really needs more grass seed and some fertiliser. Anyway the sun was very intense and so I lay down beside him and immediately I thought of how he used to love to come and climb on and over me. What intensified this more was when Francesca came and leaned against me. With the sun on my back I was just waiting for Elijah to climb on as well, the pain and the tears welled up in me. I also realised the the day (Monday) and the time ( 5:30) (this was the time we were taking Elijah off the ventilator) and I thought of the last minutes of his life as I embraced him and we prayed. I wept. The pain is fresh still and the tears plentiful. It's time like this that I physically feel the tightness in my gut and the longing for my son deep in my spirit.

"O Elijah my sweet son how I long to embrace you again,
To feel you strain and wriggle from my grasp
To turn and smile with a face of love
and to climb on me
O how my world is poorer without you
and yet I know you are but through the veil.
I know that my Father God knows the pain
The pain of watching his only son die
The pain of letting him go
(This he told me when it was time to let you go to Him)
Yet in the knowledge that he would yet again live
and I know that you my son Elijah share in this life of His.
Elijah you inspire me with you courage
You taught me, you discipled me, to love without counting the cost
To trust when I felt all was falling apart
To learn to lean on a power far greater than myself
For I am but a weak and fragile human being
In my utter weakness I have found my grace strength, courage and meaning
Divine grace divine strength, divine courage and divine meaning.
My son Elijah, I long for the day we may again embrace
Where every one of my tears will be wiped again, and I shall mourn no more
Elijah, continue to inspire me,
shout my name loudly from the grandstand and the sidelines
Remember me I pray before the Throne of grace
I love you my dear son with all my heart.

Grief is the price we pay for having loved.

Must sign off and sleep

May the life of Elijah Michael James Humphries continue to strengthen encourage and inspire all you learn of his journey.

May peace be with you and yours

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