Friday, August 01, 2008

This has been a full on week - over all as a family we have been pretty well. I did have some flu symptoms on and off all for several weeks but on the whole we have been well. this is significantly due to the house we are living in this year. Although the power bills have been higher we have been on the whoel wamer and dryer. We moved to this house a month before Elijah left us. On Monday morning francesca complained of having a bit of a sore shoulder and intially we put this down to how she had slept and so off she went to school and Julie and I to work. When i picked her up in the afternoon she told me she had been achedy all day and so I decided to take her temperature when we got home. Her temp was 38.4 (101.12) my first reaction to this was one of shock i gave her parcetemol to help bring it down. I was june last year that we temps like that in our house and it reminded me of the week of Elijahs' death. Franecsa had been unwell and had a high temperature and cough and a sniffle and then elijah picked up something simlar. It was this coupled with Elijah's inability to control his body temperature that set off the seizures that caused the damage to Elijah's body that took his life. I struggle emotionally with high tempratures and seizures as well, hence the shock reaction. Francesca temp this week climbed as high as 38.9 (102.2) before subsiding. I guess what I first experienced was what we became so used to with Elijah - and then I realised that Francesca is 7 and so less of an issue. I did for a split second thinking I hope Elijah doesn't get this. A double edged emotion - the reality that Elijah is not with us to be affected and the reality that Elijah is not with us.

I don't think that will ever change - you know that expectation that perhaps he will appear or i will wake up and find it is all a bad dream.

Elijah going to the Lord has increased my longing for the Heaven for the life which is to come, which I know for sure is but through the veil. I learning tonight by email of the death of an american pastor and evangelist Greg Laurie. I watched the following clip which is Greg sharing about his expereice of losing his son. I could so realte to the living moment by moment and wathed it through teary eyes. I share it with you.

peace be with you and yours

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